9-29-12

So I think my antidepressants are working. I’ll still get kinda sad/lonely/mopey moods, but I don’t get suicidal with them. Stuff that normally would make me depressed doesn’t bother me as much (the drugs got quite the workout with this this week). It’s a little strange, though, since just letting that stuff go isn’t my normal reaction at all. It’s just not me. I can’t get too upset over it, though, since the pills are working. My thoughts aren’t really fuzzy anymore, and I feel pretty much back to normal. I might be getting a couple of the sexual side effects, but whatever. I have an appointment with Dr. H on Monday. I think she’ll be happy with how the pills are working and won’t adjust my prescription. Last Tuesday I had a day that nothing could bring me down at all and I felt great, but I think that was one of the side effects Dr. H mentioned. But otherwise, I had a pretty normal week. I had a biochem test, which went OK, I had a lab report due Friday that I didn’t start until late Thursday night. I went through Friday (yesterday) extremely short on sleep. Two of my tutees didn’t show up on Friday, and I had another one miss on Thursday. This week was homecoming, but I didn’t do anything special all week. I slept through the parade catching up on some sleep. Yesterday was also Anneh’s 21^st birthday. I texted Vee after I woke up from my nap. Everyone was at a bar. I was planning on joining even though I’m still not drinking while I adjust to my medications. I asked Vee if they served food at the bar since I missed supper, and she was like “Idk.” So I said fuck it and didn’t go. I meant to study today, but I didn’t get anything done. I have a test on Wednesday I should read for. Oh, well, as long as I get it done tomorrow. I’m still a little tired today, too. I can be lazy. Anneh also was having a party tonight. I walked all the way to her house, could see people in the front lawn, and I turned around and walked away. I guess the pills aren’t working that well. It’s just that Vee wasn’t there, it wasn’t a party where you could easily fade into the woodwork (outside, sunny, lawn games as opposed to a crowded dimly lit house), and I didn’t feel like new people. So I haven’t talked to anyone all day, and I’ve just sat in my room except for food and to walk (almost) to Anneh’s. Edit: I ended up going with Vee after she got off work. I pretended to be drunk and had fun for a bit but then people left for another party, and I have this thing where even though I know other people just assume I’ll join, I feel left out if I’m not directly asked so I didn’t go with them and wandered back to my room on my own. Normally I’d beat myself up for that, but the pills apparently don’t let me get depressed over doing stuff like that. Now if only they could help me stop doing it in the first place. Oh, well. They’re not miracle workers.

                Other news: I saw an amusing shirt. It looked like one of those “I <3 NY” ones except it said “I only like NY as a friend.” I appreciated that since I didn’t think New York was that great. I am definitely more rural at heart. Also, my neighbors (the hot ones) are pissing me off. They keep being loud at night when I’m trying to sleep. I really should go ask them to quiet down sometime, but I’m just so non-confrontational. Last night they were screwing around with their friends and one of them was wearing only a pair of small, black briefs. He has the body to pull them off, but it’s kinda weird for one guy to be mostly naked with a group of fully clothed guys. He enjoys showing his body off way too much, especially to other guys. So yeah, that was my week. I’m sure you are all enthralled. If you thought that was boring, you provide the entertainment. Comment and leave a wacky comment about something you did this week. Not that anyone will, since no one reads my blog. Until next week.